On Tuesday 31st January, over 30 Masters and Immediate Past Masters were summoned to The Old Bailey at 10:30 in the morning for the annual Jailed and Bailed event, postponed from the period of mourning last September.
And what a motley crew they were.
As they marched into the courtroom, Sheriff Alastair King in judgment brooked no nonsense as he read out the arraignments in front of witnesses, (of whom your Master was one) and listened to Immediate Past Master Mary Hardy being charged.
“With deception, suspect organisational and educational activities. The Sheriff commented that the accused was allergic to alcohol but working for Diageo, this criminal contradiction shows the true duplicity of your nature. You are charged with being suspiciously well-organised and possessing an eyebrow-raising eagerness to devour history books. You can rest assured your Classic Mini will be categorically antique by the time you see the light of day again. Well, you’ve sung your last night at the proms! You won’t be sailing away this time.”
No defence was offered, so IPM Hardy was harnessed in a ball and chain and led out of Court and boarded a Routemaster bus which eventually took her and her co-felons to The Tower of London. As she had raised her bail money, she was given lunch and allowed to leave.
To be fair to her, she raised over her target (thank you to those World Traders who donated last September) and the Red Cross received £43,000 from the felons-for-a-day.